Hey, you. Yes, you. I want you, yep you.

This week I will be mostly talking about adverts, not films. Aren't they fun? Well, some are and some aren't. Being an avid channel hopper I regularly see a wide range of adverts and I have recently noticed one thing, they are bloody annoying. They talk to you as if you are a little child who has never heard of this thing they are selling and it is extremely belittling. I invented Windows 7, I couldn't give a toss mate. The most annoying adverts are those that feature 'regular' people, I mean if these idiots can tackle a website so can you! Yes you! I think the problem is that they talk directly at you, so you can't escape their glare. It's like Lord Kitchener telling you to sign up. Most people do not like being told what to do especially by various members of the public who know a different word for money. Even the nauseating Tescos' adverts tell us that every little helps and Asda condescendingly pat their back pocket to save you money. One advert which has been removed was the McDonald's pound saver which stated a 'bob' is a another term for a pound (makes the wrong answer noise from Family Fortunes). A bob is a shilling and there are 20 shillings in a pound, so this is a major factual inaccuracy on behalf of McDonald's, tut tut. Some adverts just don't work, what do they do round that advertising table and decide the best way to sell insurance is with an annoying fat man belting out opera telling you to GO COMPARE, so much so you want to hit him over the head with your remote control. People in adverts just come across as the archetype which places them on a pedestal which they shouldn't be. Let's get a celebrity couple to parade around in an idyllic setting and prance about on a beach then tell you to book a holiday be just like them. The best advert around is the strange idea to get a meerkat (puts on a ridiculous Russian accent) sell you cheap car insurance who ever thought of that is a genius, simples.