In a recent interview Geoffrey Rush claimed that the Pirates franchise could go as long as the James Bond films. On this showing, I'm afraid Mr Rush is extremely wrong. If the big movie cheeses can persuade Johnny Depp to do his thing til he is in his seventies then maybe. On Stranger Tides is the fourth installment of the multi-million box office blockbuster, and here be my review. This time, there be mermaids, Blackbeard and Penelope Cruz. Captain Jack and a band of miscreants are off to find the Fountain of Youth, for some reason or another, as are the Spanish, the Royal Navy and Blackbeard. Tides features a series of impressive set pieces, most notable of all in London, Greenwich to be precise. The Royal Naval College provides a terrific backdrop for a horse and cart chase as Cap'n Jack tries to evade His Majesty's guards.
The opening scene is reminiscent in tone and style of the original Pirates outing but once we leave London it fails to pick up the pace. It has all the ingredients to be a worthy entry in the Pirates canon (no pun intended) ok, pun intended, but fails to live up to the hype. The charm and wit have disappeared, possibly to the depths of the Mediterannean. Even Jack Sparrow is lacking something. Johnny Depp does his best drunk Keith Richards impression, but isn't as funny or as engaging. Perhaps its because he can't be bothered or we are tired of the same shtick.
The are flashes of the old Jack, and some funny cameos from Keith Richards as Jack's dad, Richard Griffiths as King George and Judi Dench who comes in for a shock. These moments are fleeting and soon forgotten. The supporting cast don't help and can't hold a candle to Depp and his wacky wily old sea dog.
Sam Claflin and Astrid Berges-Frisbey (stop giggling), are the new replacements for Keira and Orlando. Their plight is tied to the fountain of youth as the searchers are need of a mermaid's tear, and Mr missionary decides to fall in love with the fishy lady. Both actors wouldn't have gone amiss on board the Queen Anne's Revenge (Blackbeard's ship) as planks.
The previous films have been a jumpy in parts but this time it's difficult to be scared. One moment made me jump at the beginning, but that was it. The character who we were meant to be afraid of was about as scary as a puppy wearing a hat. Captain Blackbeard, played by Ian Macshane, brooding and dark, is just a bit wet. He never strikes fear in other pirates or the audience even if he can control ropes with a magical sword.
The swordplay is impressive, especially in the fight between Sparrow's love interest Angelica played by the heavily bosomed Penelope Cruz. The fight is similiar to the one Jack has with Will in the first movie. She holds her own and is a sassy Spanish match for Sparrow. Captain Jack can't do it all by himself and is admirably let down by the supporting cast.
Once again Hans Zimmer's impressive score adds to the piratey flavour but that can't save the film too confused by adding every piece of pirate lore in it.
Verdict: 2/5
What could have been a return to form to a sinking-ship of a franchise in need of rescuing, isn't, it just re-hashed the same problems with 2 and 3. Too convoluted, characters are two dimensional and even Jack Sparrow can't save the day. I think the ship has definitely sailed on this one. Play the Lego game on the Xbox instead, its amazing.
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